I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
