I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
