I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
