Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
MIDGETS
????
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
did you just send me my own nude
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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