look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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