You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
