Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
