we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
