Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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