I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
either way he was missing a nipple.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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