1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
