it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
