well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
