bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
