OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
