I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
