He told me they were just razor bumps!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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