Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
