But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
