can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
