Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
