He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
