So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
