stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
