With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
