I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
