No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
being pregnant is like rehab
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
