i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
