it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
