I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
