Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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