I think I am morally bankrupt
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
