Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
