I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
