We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
