Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
