My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
