K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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