Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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