my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
