i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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