just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
