Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
