He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
