can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
