so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
