yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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