The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
