I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
