Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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